Singin’ I’m No A Billy, He’s A Tim

‘Singin’ I’m No A Billy, He’s A Tim’ is a phenomenon in Scotland where it has sold out countless nationwide tours, a sensation at the Edinburgh Festival and now touring internationally.

Written by Des Dillon an Directed by Stephen Cafferty. With Scott Kyle (Outlander, Angels Share, Kajaki and Winner of Stage Award for Acting Excellence), Colin Little (River City, Fried, Gasping, The Secret Agent) and James Miller.

Israeli vs Palestinian, Catholic vs Protestant, Celtic vs Rangers…When tribal factions clash can reason ever prevail?

What happens when on the day of the Old Firm Match, you lock up a Celtic and Rangers fan in a cell together?

Fireworks! And a weird kind of unity.

AGE 16+ : Show contains strong language.

Move Over Mrs Markham

Philip Markham, a publisher of children’s books, is asked by his business partner, Henry Lodge, if he can borrow the flat for the evening to gallivant with his latest girlfriend. As Philip and his wife will be out, he reluctantly agrees.

At the same time, Joanna Markham is being persuaded by Linda Lodge to let her borrow the empty flat in order to entertain her lover. With some misgivings, Joanna agrees. What nobody knows is that the interior designer who has been decorating the flat for the past three months has decided that this is the night that he and the au pair girl will try out the new oval bed.

When the Markhams’ evening out is cancelled, it is too late to let any of the parties know and three sets of hopeful lovers all converge on the bedroom at the same time. The situation is further complicated by the arrival of Olive Harriet Smythe, a straightlaced authoress of children’s books.

The frantic efforts of the Markhams to hide the amorous goings-on and, at the same time sign up Miss Smythe, lead to a hectic and hilarious evening.

Austen’s Women: LADY SUSAN

JANE AUSTEN created some of literature’s most celebrated characters, defining her era, sex and class. Two hundred years on, her works continue to speak for the yearning heart as much as they did when they were written – so just how much has really changed for women since then?

In a solo performance of extraordinary virtuosity – using only Austen’s words – Rebecca Vaughan boldy revisits the most rewarding moments from the ‘two inches of ivory’. In scenes of high comedy and profound pathos, she deconstructs the souls of Emma Woodhouse, Lizzy Bennet, Mrs Norris, Miss Bates and nine other beautifully observed women.

Divorced from their historical context (and in the absence of their men), these women present a glorious distillation of 19th century feminism and speak volumes about love, friendship, and notorious improprieties.

Austen lovers and the uninitiated alike will revel in this brilliant and illuminating evocation of Austen’s Women.

Waiting Room

Elemental Theatre Company Presents ‘WaitingRoom’, written and performed by Thomas Levi, Rebecca Morris and Chris Stevenson.
Following from the success of their previous sell out production ‘Normal’, Elemental Theatre Company is thrilled to announce their latest show “Waiting Room.” Set in the Accident and Emergency department of an NHS hospital this brand new comedy promises to deliver a dose of laughter. Audiences will be transported to the medical mayhem of a waiting room by a trio of actors performing multiple rolls and peer into the lives of the eccentric staff and the peculiar patients.

This two-act comedy is the show you’ve been waiting for, the injection of light entertainment which is needed in the current struggles of the NHS, whilst also dealing with some of the social and political issues that are hard to avoid in this industry. The show’s exceptional blend of humour and heart ensure that ‘Waiting Room’ appeals to a diverse range of theatre-goers. Sections of the show were developed verbatim through interviews and discussions with
junior doctors and paramedic staff, which helps to see deeper into the day-to-day lives of our beloved key workers; and the often difficult patients they encounter. If laughter is the best medicine then Waiting Room is the perfect prescription, and can be seen on tour throughout the UK in Spring 2024, starting at the Gatehouse on the 6th of March.

The play runs for approximately 2 hours with an interval and contains some adult content. More information can be found at

The story:

A Saturday night shift in a hospital A&E department takes an unexpected turn when a mysterious woman enters the waiting room and disrupts the routine. Dr Green is suspicious of the new nurse on the ward, David, as a complaint finds its way into his pigeon hole. The receptionist, Rachel, looks on as the chaos ensues unaware that the nights events would ultimately unsettle her just as much.

As the medical trio try to fight their way through the night, they are constantly interrupted by a sea of whimsical and extraordinary patients visiting accident and emergency with the most petty ailments. By the time the shift is over they have dealt with inky infections, unpredicted pregnancy and hostile hen parties.

The Metamorphosis

‘As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a monstrous insect.’

The Metamorphosis is a new adaptation of Franz Kafka’s classic story of a man whose society causes him to feel so isolated and worthless that he physically transforms into a giant insect. Kafka’s Prague in 1915 was full of confusing bureaucracy, indecipherable rules and regulations and a host of reasons why Gregor should grow to consider himself utterly worthless. The busy, successful and popular inhabitants of this world serve only to show Gregor just how far removed he is from their status.

Today, our world is not so different. Our government and social structures have never been more complex, confusing, and… well, Kafkaesque. The world bustles along with little time or energy to notice those around us who may be struggling, and social media bombards us with images of perfect people with perfect lives, completely unattainable for most of us.

Gregor’s life is full of contradictions, confusion and reasons to feel inadequate. When he begins to suffer from an unusual health complaint which threatens to jeopardise his ability to function he finds that those around him are unable to offer any help or advice. Following his shocking metamorphosis he finally begins to realise what it means to be human. But is it too late? As his mind adapts to his new life Gregor grows ever more distant from the world, and his family begin to undergo their own transformations.

Franz Kafka’s story of a misfit trying to adapt to his busy world is as relevant now as it ever was. This new adaptation explores the many aspects of modern life which conspire to isolate us from each other, and what it is about being human which brings us closer together.

I’m Frank Morgan-RewiRED: A Tale from Paradise Heights

I’m Frank Morgan: RewiRED

Frank’s a hard man in a dirty old town. Loan shark, poker player, owner of The Ace of Spades Club in Paradise Heights. He’s taken on some of the hardest that have ever drew breath, they’ve all ended up broken…or buried. But a new threat has risen, an immigrant crime wave has threatened his position at the top of the hill. Frank’s never been one to walk away from a fight…

Tonight he’s walled up inside his club, and you are trapped in there with him as the ghosts and the demons are queuing up to take him down. But there’s still some bite left in the shark, wounded and raging – he’s at his most dangerous.​

​And waiting in the dark is his toughest opponent of all…

Strawberry Jack – A Tale from Paradise Heights

Strawberry Jack Grundy was a wild child that grew into a ferocious man. Once the War Horse of Paradise Heights, recent events have stacked the deck firmly against the One Eyed Jack of The Ace of Spades Nightclub. He is now a fading shadow of the man he once was.

But the rescue of a girl on the mean streets of Paradise Heights thrusts Jack into a situation he has never faced before, untapped feelings stir, and a frozen heart begins to melt. But One Eyed Jacks aren’t always lucky; someone wants Jack dead by Christmas. They say Christmas is a time for Angels…a time for miracles.

Well Jack may have found his Angel. Now all he needs is a miracle…

Sponsor A Seat

Here’s your chance to become part of the furniture at the Gatehouse for the next 10 years, with our new ‘Sponsor a Seat’ programme.

Whether you’re looking for the perfect gift for a loved one, mark a special moment, say thank you to a friend, or honour a fellow theatre lover, sponsoring a seat in the main auditorium is the perfect memento of happy hours spent at the Gatehouse down the years.

It might just be a memorable quote, or a tribute to your favourite act – the choice is yours.


Your support will make a big difference and help towards projects including our Gatehouse Youth Theatre groups, which give local youngsters their first taste of theatre, our Dementia Friendly Classic Film Afternoons, or our ongoing support for local community groups.

Simply choose what you’d like to say on your specially-engraved metal plaque and we’ll proudly display it on a seat of your choice for the next 10 years. The plaques are 76mm x 50mm Gilt Self Anodised aluminium plate, which can be engraved with up to four lines of text or a maximum of 75 characters.

Donations are £150 per seat (although you can add an extra amount if you wish).

You will also receive a downloadable Certificate of Thanks and a picture of the plaque in place (we will also happily arrange a visit to the theatre for you to grab your own photo).

So sponsor a seat today – and there’ll always be a part of you at the Gatehouse.

For further information, please contact the Box Office on 01785 619080.



Stafford Players present: Frankenstein (adapted from Mary Shelley’s Classic by Tim Kelly).

Victor Frankenstein, a brilliant young scientist, returns to his Swiss chateau to escape a dark and terrifying secret: he has brought into being a creature made from pieces of the dead.

Abandoned by its maker, shunned and feared by society, the creature tracks Victor to his sanctuary to demand a bride to share its loneliness. A dark, gothic drama that explores human nature and the universal desire for love, acceptance and companionship.


The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)

All 37 Plays in 97 Minutes!
The National Production Company presents ‘The Complete Works of William Shakespeare
(abridged).’ This critically acclaimed play is an irreverent, fast-paced romp through the Bard’s 37
plays! Join these madcap performers in tights as they weave their way through all of
Shakespeare’s Comedies, Histories and Tragedies in one wild ride that will leave you breathless
and helpless with laughter.
NOTICE! The National Production Company takes no responsibility for any loss of blood
pressure, brain cells or partners during the proceedings. This is a high paced action-packed thrill
ride, and we ask that; should the intense hurtling speed of the Shakespearean canon and
our majestic performances cause you to vomit and burst into flames, please refrain from
screaming too loudly so as not to affect the enjoyment of those around you. May the Bard be with
Age Recommendation: Comic depictions of violence, mild innuendo, bawdy language, and the
occasional rude word. All children (and adults) are different, but we’ve chosen to rate our show